Ria's Visions (Hearts of ICARUS Book 6) Read online

  Ria’s eyes widened with fear and worry. “Vari, you can’t,” she began, but Vari held up one hand.

  “It’s all right. Nia is the only one who knows, and she won’t tell.”

  “Isn’t that the woman who helped Salene on that storage planet?”

  “Yes, and it’s kind of a long story best saved for another time.”

  “All right,” Ria agreed. “Since I only have three days I guess I better get started.” Vari frowned. “Is something the matter?” Ria asked, suddenly afraid that her sister would change her mind.

  “I’m just thinking about how Mom and the Dads are going to react to this.”

  Ria smiled, unaware of how sad she appeared. “I really don’t think they’ll mind.”

  Vari’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Why don’t you think they’ll mind?”

  Ria nearly bit her lip, which would have given away more of her true feelings than she dared. “Between my actions on the Leaper, and quitting med school, they’re not exactly happy with me.”

  “What has that got to do with how they’ll feel about you leaving for a couple of years?”

  Everything. “Nothing, I suppose,” she murmured softly before finishing her drink. It wasn’t a good answer, but it was a lot less humiliating than the truth. She set the glass down and rose to her feet before Vari could ask more questions.

  “Thank you, all of you, for giving me this chance, and for forgiving me. It means more to me than I can say. I’ll work as hard as I can so you never have to regret taking me.”

  “You’re welcome, Ria,” Declan said. “We’re glad to know you’ll be filling a much needed position.”

  “Would you like me to come with you?” Vari asked. “To talk to Mom and the Dads.”

  “No, thank you, Vari. It really isn’t going to be a big deal, and I’m sure you have enough to do as it is.”

  She started to turn away, then paused. “I’m not sure how much I should pack for this. Any tips?”

  “Mom knows,” Vari said. “She and Bean did my shopping and most of my packing for me. They’ll be able to help you.”

  Ria almost laughed at that. Bean was as angry with her as her parents. Maybe more. I’ll figure it out, she thought, biting her lip without even realizing it. She forced a smile onto her face, then left with a quick wave.

  Vari watched her sister until she was out of sight, then she tilted her head so she could see Pandora on her shoulder. “Do you know what’s going on with her?”

  “No, I don’t,” Pandora said hesitantly.

  “What is it?”

  “The Eternal Pack said that Ria is supposed to go with us,” Pandora said. Vari nodded. Pandora had already told her that much. “They also said that she has her part to play in what’s coming.”

  “Rajne du nekon,” Vari hissed, too upset to notice her men’s sudden tension.

  “I’m sorry, Vari,” Pandora said sympathetically. “We always knew that there was a chance, a very good chance, that Ria and Bean would get dragged into this. They were touched by Chaos just as you were.”

  “I know,” Vari said. “I just hoped they wouldn’t. Did the Eternal Pack tell you anything else about her? What’ll happen or what she’s supposed to do?”

  “No, they didn’t. They’re a little surprised right now, too. They didn’t realize Ria was going to be part of this until she got here.”

  “That seems…odd,” Vari said. “Don’t you think?”

  “Not really,” Pandora said. “They can’t see the future, you know that. They just see probabilities based on choices, decisions, and events. Maybe Ria’s coming here and asking to go in search of Kinah changed something.”

  “Do you think I could change it back by refusing to let her go?”

  Pandora shuddered. “You know better than that, Vari. I hope.”

  “I do,” Vari admitted with a sigh. “Maybe Niri will decide against her.”

  “I doubt it, but I suppose it’s possible.”

  “Do you think the Eternal Pack knows what’s going on with her? Why she seems so…different?”

  “I asked them that. They told me it wasn’t their place to tell the secrets of others.”

  “That tells us there’s a secret, anyway.”

  “Maybe you should take a peek,” Pandora suggested. “Just a little one.”

  “I thought about it,” Vari said, surprising Pandora. “But I can’t. I promised Ria and Bean that I would never deliberately read their minds.”

  Pandora sighed. If Vari made a promise, there was no possibility she’d ever break it. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

  “I guess,” Vari agreed. “I better go vid Niri.”

  ***

  Dr. Niri Jula closed the inventory list she was reviewing and answered the incoming vid request on her vid terminal. “Hello Vari.”

  “Hi Niri. I think I have some good news for you.”

  “You think?” Niri asked, arching one black brow.

  “A junior med-tech,” Vari said.

  “Since that’s what we need, why do you only think it’s good news?”

  “She’s my sister,” Vari said. “This isn’t nepotism though, I promise. I’ve sent you her information so you can review her record.”

  “She has experience in the position?”

  “Yes, she does, but not a lot,” Vari said. “She worked the summer on the Leaper.”

  “That’s better than a full year in a clinic,” Niri said, surprising Vari.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I know how those liner infirmaries are run. The doctors and med-techs make the junior med-techs handle everything while they enjoy the cruise. If she made it through the entire summer without being dismissed, she did very well.”

  “That’s nice to know.”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “Ria’s very smart, Niri. And capable. She’s just does things without thinking sometimes. She’s had impulse control issues since she was a child. Review her record and then let me know what you think. It’s completely up to you, so if you decide you don’t want her, don’t hesitate to say so please.”

  “I appreciate that, Vari,” Niri said. “Give me half an hour and I’ll get back to you with my answer.”

  “You got it, Niri.”

  After disconnecting Niri found the data Vari sent on her sister, and logged into the central database for certified med staff. She reviewed Ria’s college transcripts then her med school record, surprised by the grades and evaluation reports. She’d rarely seen such an exemplary record for a junior med-tech. She pulled her employment file and started reading. She wasn’t surprised to find a very long list of patients treated by the junior med-tech, all logged and recorded by computer. Normally junior med-techs didn’t touch patients, but on a liner like the Leaper, they all but ran the infirmary.

  When she was finished she returned Vari’s vid call.

  “Her record speaks for itself, Vari,” she said a minute later. “I’d love to have her on my staff. My only concern is that after doing med-tech work on the Leaper, she might resent being restricted to junior work. In actual fact, they aren’t supposed to treat patients despite what she had to do on the Leaper.”

  “That’s not going to be a problem, Niri. She’ll be continuing her studies during the expedition, but for a research degree rather than one geared toward treating patients. She doesn’t want to do that again.”

  “I wonder why,” Niri said.

  “Who knows with Ria? Like I said, she’s impulsive.”

  Niri frowned. There was nothing in her record, reports, reviews, or grades to indicate the slightest hint of an impulsive nature. But Ria was Vari’s sister. Surely she knew her best.

  “As far as I’m concerned, she’s hired,” she said finally.

  “Great,” Vari said. “Thanks Niri. And remember, if it doesn’t work out, just say so. I’m sure we’ll find something else for her to do.”

  Niri ended the call, then reopened the invento
ry file. She was a little troubled by Vari’s lack of confidence in her sister, and wondered if there was something she knew that Niri didn’t. She shrugged. She’d find out soon enough, she decided, then turned her attention back to her work.

  Chapter 4

  Three days later…

  Ria was opening the last suitcase when she heard a knock at the door. “It’s me,” Vari called.

  “Come on in,” she called back.

  “You getting settled in okay?” Vari asked, closing the door behind her.

  Ria turned around with a large plastic bottle in one hand, and a makeup case in the other. “Yeah, this is the last bag, thank goodness,” she said, crossing to the bathroom. “It’s taken nearly as long to unpack as it took to pack.”

  “You packed everything yourself?”

  “Yeah,” Ria replied, cursing herself silently for the slip. “The Bihotza sure is a beautiful ship, and this room is amazing. Especially compared to the shoebox I had on the Leaper.” She stopped. “Thanks again for letting me come on this expedition, Vari. I appreciate it more than I can say.”

  “You’re welcome, Ria. I’m glad you’re coming.”

  “You are?” Ria asked before she could hide her surprise.

  “Of course I am,” Vari said. “You’re my sister and I love you. I’m very glad we’ll each have at least one family member for the coming months.”

  “Thanks,” Ria said, dropping her eyes before continuing into the bathroom.

  “That’s an awful lot of Pher-X,” Vari said, frowning as she followed Ria.

  “Yeah, two-year supply,” Ria replied, bending down to put the extra-large jar in a cabinet. “I wanted more since we don’t really know how long we’ll be gone, but Aunt Darlene gave me the last of what they had on hand at the clinic. I don’t know why they don’t add it to the med fabricators.”

  “Because there’s still some question as to whether or not they’re a good idea,” Vari said. “Personally, I don't think they are.”

  “Why not?” Ria asked. “You used them, didn’t you?”

  “I did,” Vari replied, following Ria back out of the bathroom. “I wish I hadn’t.”

  “Since you and the Dracon-Bats seem happy, I can understand that,” Ria said as she turned around to face her suitcase. “But I don’t want that, Vari. Not ever.”

  Vari blinked in surprise. “When did you decide to stay unmated forever?”

  Sorry sister, I can’t answer that. “Taking the suppressants gives me the kind of control over my life that human women have. What’s wrong with that?”

  “For starters, we’re not human,” Vari replied, not missing the way Ria sidestepped her question. “And they don’t give you the control you think they do.”

  “They don’t?” Ria asked, her heart skipping a beat. “Are you saying they don’t actually suppress pheromones?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

  “What then?”

  Vari sighed heavily. She didn’t like talking about this, but if it helped Ria avoid her mistakes, it’d be worth it. “I discovered that the Dracon-Bats were my destined Rami when I was eleven, you know that.”

  Ria nodded as she moved to the chiller for two bottles of juice and carried them to the table. “Yes, I know that. And I know that you never wanted them to find out.”

  “That’s right,” Vari said, accepting the bottle Ria handed her before they both sat down at the table. “But the reason I didn’t want them to find out was that I couldn’t be touched without it causing me excruciating pain. I wanted to spare them from having a berezi they could never touch.”

  “I thought you didn't want them to know because you didn’t want to be mated.”

  “I never told anyone,” Vari said. “For ten years I thought about them all the time, dreamt about them, wondered about them. When I was still a child it was confusing, but as I got older I began to understand. That just strengthened my belief that staying away from them was the right thing to do for their sakes.

  “Since they were never around, it wasn’t difficult to do. But when I had to leave the Leaper, and the only ship close enough for me to transport to was the Bihotza, I quickly discovered an enormous drawback to those suppressants.”

  “Which was?”

  “They suppress your pheromones, but they don’t do a damn thing to keep you from reacting to your destined Rami when you find them.”

  “Reacting to them…how?” Ria asked, confused. She knew men got their mating fangs when they scented their berezi for the first time. But she’d never heard that females had a reaction.

  “Sexually,” Vari said simply. Ria’s confusion remained. “They have pheromones too. If you get a whiff of them, your body will react whether you want it to or not. You’ll want them, and the longer you try to ignore it, the more uncomfortable and frustrated you’ll feel. But that’s just part of the problem.”

  “What’s the other part?”

  “There’s more to the connection between berezi and Rami than pheromones, Ria. The pheromones help us cut through all the extraneous problems, whatever they might be. They almost require you to figure things out because your bodies aren’t going to let you ignore each other.

  “Without them, especially when the men expect them to cause physical reactions that aren’t taking place, confusion reigns, misunderstandings and mistakes take place, and you find yourself in a tangled up mess that, without the suppressants, would never occur.”

  “I don’t understand,” Ria said. “The whole point of the suppressants is to keep a male-set from reacting to, or even recognizing, a female as their berezi. So how could there be misunderstandings to begin with?”

  “They’ll feel something, and they won’t understand it.”

  “Is that what happened to you?”

  Vari studied Ria for a long moment. “Do you already know who your Rami are, Ria?”

  Ria’s eyes widened in surprise and her face paled a shade or two. “No I don’t, and I don’t want to know. That’s why I take the suppressants.”

  Once again Vari was taken aback. Ria meant what she was saying, that much was certain. “I’ll tell you what happened to me, Ria, but you have to promise to keep it to yourself.”

  “I won’t ever say a word to anyone,” Ria said solemnly.

  Vari took a long sip of her juice, then started talking.

  ***

  Ria sat at the table for a long time after her sister left with Pandora. Even though Vari hadn’t gone into graphic detail about the more personal aspects of her experience, it still hadn’t been easy for Ria to listen to.

  As difficult as it had been, she was glad Vari told her what happened between herself and the Dracon-Bats. She’d learned a few things that she’d never known, like the fact that male-sets couldn’t share power with anyone but their berezi. Even though she couldn’t begin to imagine herself accepting power from any male for any reason, it was good to know.

  It’d never occurred to her that she might identify whichever unfortunate male-set was destined for her, either. I should have though, she admonished herself. She knew perfectly well that Vari had recognized the Dracon-Bats as her future Rami years ago.

  Now, at least, she’d understand what was happening if she experienced any of the physical reactions Vari had told her about. She shuddered at the thought, but she was glad of the knowledge. It would serve as a warning to stay as far as possible from anyone she had the slightest reaction to.

  Pushing herself to her feet she put her empty bottle in the recycle bin, then went to finish unpacking her last bag. She carried an armload of spare toiletries into the bathroom and spotted the suppressants in the cabinet. A stab of guilt hit her.

  Ria knew Vari had shared her personal experience only because she wanted her to rethink using the suppressants. She had no intention of doing that, but she hadn’t said that to Vari. Instead, she’d deliberately pumped her sister for information so she’d know what to watch out for, what to expect, and what t
o avoid.

  None of this matters. I’m on a ship with a finite number of male-sets. The odds against my destined mates being among them are definitely stacked in my favor.

  ***

  “What do you think, Pandora?” Vari asked after leaving Ria to finish her unpacking.

  “Something is definitely wrong,” Pandora said. “Your mother was right, no surprise there. Ria’s too withdrawn, and too…too…quiet. I think.”

  “You think?”

  “When you think about it Vari, we’ve never spent much time with Ria. An hour here, a few minutes there during a holiday or school break. The most time you ever spent in her company was when we were on the Leaper and you visited her when the infirmary was quiet at night. That’s why you wanted to be there in the first place.”

  “You’re right,” Vari agreed. “I still feel like something’s wrong though. I wish I’d had time to spend with her these past few days but we’ve all been so busy. Ria included.”

  “What do you think is wrong?”

  “To quote Salene, I haven’t a clue in the cosmos. Do you think she’s still feeling bad about what happened on the Leaper?”

  “It’s possible I suppose,” Pandora said. “I don’t know why she would be though. She apologized, she’s been forgiven, and that should be it.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Vari sighed. “I know she’ll keep taking the suppressants, too. That much was obvious. I just don’t know why she’s so intense about it.”

  “Maybe she knows who her Rami are…no wait, you asked that, didn’t you?”

  “I did, and she wasn’t lying when she said no,” Vari replied. “I’m sure of it.”

  “But if she had found her Rami, and if she didn’t like them, that would explain a lot.”

  “Maybe,” Vari said. “Something tells me the problem is more complicated than that, though.”

  “Whatever it is, you’ve got months and months to figure it out.”

  “As stubborn as Ria can be, I’m not so sure that’ll be long enough,” Vari said wryly.