Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) Page 5

  “Because it’s hidden with Blind Sight,” Rayne replied, not knowing the answer until he’d asked the question. She smiled, but it faded quickly when she saw the expressions of surprised concern on the men’s faces. “What is it?”

  Landor picked up the napkin from her tray, then leaned over to dab at her upper lip with it. It was only when she saw the bright red blood against the white of the napkin that she realized her nose was bleeding. She touched her upper lip with one finger, relieved to find that there was no blood on it when she looked.

  “It was just a little,” Landor said. “Does your head hurt?” She shook her head. “We need to put you in a healing tank, Rayne.”

  “No healing tank,” Rayne declared as firmly as she could in a voice that refused to rise above a whisper. “I can’t remember anything if I’m in a healing tank.” All three men stared at her, but she could do stubborn with the best of them when she had to.

  “Then you must allow us to summon Tani,” Landor said. “I know you don’t want to take the risk of others knowing about your presence here, but you need to be healed, and I think you can trust your sister.”

  “Of course I trust my sister, but she’s on her honeymoon and I’m not interrupting that.”

  Landor exchanged looks with his brothers that, once again, she couldn’t interpret. “Do you accept the fact that we’ll be taking you to Buhell?”

  Rayne hesitated, but she knew that on this subject, stubborn would get her nowhere. These were Clan Jasani males, and she was their berezi. There was nothing short of death that would prevent them from accompanying her no matter what she said or where she went. That made her choice fairly simple. Take her parents and the Bearen-Hirus into danger, or just the Bearen-Hirus. She had no desire to see any of them come to harm, but going with the Bearen-Hirus was the smarter choice simply because it put fewer people at risk. “Yes, I do.”

  “Thank you,” he said softly, then cleared his throat. “Do you still want to see your parents before we leave?”

  “Yes,” she replied. “I remember how difficult it was for them when Tani went missing. I’m not going to do that to them if I can help it, and I know they’ll keep the secret.”

  “Good,” Landor said. “I suggest that we ask their advice in the matter of your health.” Rayne nodded her agreement. “When do you want to see them?”

  “This morning, if possible,” she replied. “Since they can speed travel, I think it would be safest for them to come here.”

  “Agreed,” Landor said. “Do you want to meet with them in this room?”

  Rayne looked around, realizing that the room was too small for eight people, especially since six of them would be large Clan Jasani males. “Is there a better place?”

  “We could use a conference room, but I think you’d be more comfortable in the master suite,” Landor said. “It’s also a lot easier to keep the meeting private if we do it there.”

  Rayne had been about to tell him she preferred the conference room, but his comment about privacy changed her mind. “I’d like to bathe first, if that’s all right. And um…I’d appreciate it if you’d warn them about how bad I look,” she whispered softly, dropping her eyes to the tray in front of her. “I don’t want to upset them more than I have to.”

  “Of course you can bathe,” Landor said. “And don’t worry about your parents. I’ll prepare them.”

  “Thanks,” she replied.

  “What’s bothering you?” Ari asked.

  There were several things bothering her, which gave her the opportunity to choose the one they were least likely to argue with her about. “I’m not looking forward to causing my parents more worry and fear.”

  “We don’t have to tell them,” Con said. “Everyone is going to have to believe that you’ve been abducted anyway.”

  “No, I’m not putting them through that,” Rayne said, reaching for the spoon on the tray. “They deserve the truth.”

  Landor watched as she ate, pleased to note that she’d finished the egg, and that her hand barely shook until she was nearly half way finished with the broth. When she set the spoon down and reached for the tea, he could tell she’d eaten all she could. It wasn’t very much, but it was more than she’d been able to eat the night before which was a good sign.

  “I’m concerned about the second line you wrote on the shift,” he said. “The one referring, we suspect, to Controllers. Do you have any further memory of that?”

  “No, I don’t,” she said. “Do you think my parents are in danger?”

  “Not exactly,” he said. “My concern has more to do with your comment earlier that there are spies everywhere. We need to find a way to warn everyone, without giving away too much in case the person warned turns out to be a spy.”

  “Yes, I see what you mean,” she said. “I don’t think it should be put off until after…whatever I have to do.”

  “I agree,” Landor said. “This is information that must be shared, especially since it isn’t a question of trust, but of whether or not a particular person might have had a Controller placed in them without their knowledge. I don’t think any of us are immune to that.”

  “Actually, we are,” Ari said, surprising everyone. “One unused Controller was found in the safe of the mining office on Garza after the Nomen were killed and the android deactivated. That Controller was taken to Jasan, where one of the Council members voluntarily injected himself with it.”

  What little color Rayne had regained after the revelation that she was their berezi once again drained from her face, but this time it was accompanied by a wave of sick fear. Since her shield was up and Landor’s and Con’s attention was on Ari, her reaction went unnoticed.

  “How long have you known about this?” Landor asked.

  “About an hour,” Ari replied. “It was in a report I finished reading just before Rayne woke up this morning.

  “Did the Controller work?”

  “Yes, actually, it did,” Ari said with a tiny smile. “Until he shifted. After he took his alter-form the liquid metal that the Controller nano-bots are made of was left in a small puddle on the floor.”

  “Excellent,” Landor said.

  “Rayne?” Ari asked worriedly, finally noticing her reaction.

  “What’s the matter?” Landor asked, moving closer to the bed and touching the back of her hand with his fingertips. When she looked up at him, the sheer terror in her eyes nearly sent him over the edge. He forced his mind to go back over the past couple of minutes in search of an explanation for her fear. Ari found it first.

  “You’re worried that they put a Controller in you,” he said. Rayne nodded her head jerkily.

  “More than that,” Landor said. “You’re afraid the warning you wrote on your shift was about you.” She nodded again. “It’s all right, Rayne. We can find out right now.”

  “You can?” she whispered so softly that he didn’t hear her so much as he read her lips.

  “We are strongest in Fire and Air, but we do have some strength in Water. I don’t think it’ll be too difficult to determine whether or not you have metal in your body. Hold still for just a moment and try to relax, all right?”

  Relaxing was impossible, but Rayne made herself be so still that she barely breathed. Then the Bearen-Hirus looked into her eyes, focusing their energy on her. She returned their gazes steadily, one at a time, beginning with Ari, then Con, and then Landor, surprised to feel an immediate connection with each of them. Before she had a chance to figure out what that connection was, exactly, they all relaxed and looked away.

  “There’s no metal inside of you that we can find,” Landor said. “I think it’s safe to say you don’t have a Controller. Your fathers have much stronger Water magic than we do, so we’ll ask them to check as well, just to be certain.”

  “Thank you. That helps.”

  “If you’re finished eating, we can take you to the master suite now.”

  “Yes, please,” she replied. All three of them leapt in
to action. In just a few moments she found herself in Landor’s arms, wrapped in a thick, fluffy comforter, and moving up the corridor to the master suite at blurring speed.

  “This is beautiful,” she said, when Landor crossed the threshold. The room was done in shades of blue from dark navy to pale blue, with thick carpeting, an enormous four poster bed with curtains tied back at each corner that matched the deep blue velvet comforter, and so much more that it was impossible to take in everything with a single look.

  “We’re glad you like it,” Landor said as he carried her into the bathroom, which matched the bedroom in various shades of blue.

  Con started the water in the tub, then added something to it that caused the water to foam, and filled the room with a light flowery aroma. “Honeysuckle,” she said, smiling. “That’s my favorite fragrance.”

  “Is it?” Landor asked, not quite meeting her eyes. He set her on the counter and unwrapped the comforter. Then he reached for the hem of her shirt, preparing to pull it up and over her head. She placed her hands over his, stopping him.

  “I can do this by myself.”

  Landor didn’t bother reaching for her emotions, certain that if he did all he’d find was the same calm they always felt from her, just like they couldn’t smell her, except on a few rare occasions. Instead, he looked into her eyes, not too surprised to find fear and embarrassment. The embarrassment was easy to understand but, unfortunately, her eyes couldn’t tell him what it was that frightened her. “We can’t leave you alone for that long, Kisu.”

  He nearly swore when the fear in her eyes doubled. “You told me that I was shielded when you left me alone in the bathroom earlier.”

  “Yes, and you are shielded,” he assured her. “You can’t be transported off this ship unless we remove it, I promise.” Rayne relaxed a little, so he continued. “But I only left you alone for a couple of minutes. You’re going to want more time than that, and I’m not sure we’re capable of staying away that long.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said. “Why not?”

  Landor didn’t want to point out just how poor her physical condition was, so he said the only other thing he could think of that was also true. “We’re just not capable of letting you out of our sight for that long.”

  “What does Kisu mean?” she asked, buying time to think the situation over.

  “It means rain, but more than that, it means the type of rain that falls in summer, soft and cool on the skin. The kind of rain that makes you want to go outside and stand in it with your face turned up to the sky.”

  “I like that,” she whispered, then gathered her courage one more time. “It’s being naked in front of you that bothers me. I never thought of myself as being particularly shy before, but I don’t look like me, and that makes it more difficult than I’d like it to be.”

  “You’re our berezi, Rayne,” Landor said. “There is no reason for you to be self-conscious with us.”

  “Nevertheless, I am.” If she hadn’t been staring into his eyes when she spoke, she would have missed the brief flash of pain her words caused. She patted his hand lightly. “I’m self-conscious about looking at myself right now, so please don’t take it personally.” Landor looked into her eyes for a long moment, then sighed and looked away. “What is it?” she asked. “Tell me, please.”

  Landor glanced over at Con and Ari, who were both watching and listening. They moved closer so that they all stood in front of Rayne, then he took a calming breath, knowing he had to be as honest as she was being.

  “Even though you can’t yet remember what you’ve been through, there is evidence enough to tell us that you’ve traveled through nine levels of hell and back again. You’ve been so strong for such a long time, and you’ve been through so much. All of it alone. Since what happened to you occurred in our future, there’s nothing we can do to change the fact that we weren’t there for you when you needed us. All we can do is ask that you allow us to help you now, while it is within our ability to do so.”

  The sincerity in his violet eyes touched Rayne in a way she couldn’t ignore. Suddenly, the idea of refusing their help when it clearly meant so much to them seemed petty and selfish. What difference did it make if they saw her naked, anyway? It couldn’t be much worse than what they’d already seen. “Of course you can help me,” she said, patting his hand again.

  “Thank you,” Landor replied hoarsely, then cleared his throat. “I think we can compromise, if you’re willing.”

  “Compromise how?”

  “Con and Ari will leave now. I’ll help you into the tub without looking at you any more than strictly necessary, and then I’ll leave as well. You can take your bath in privacy, but we’ll keep the door open just enough so that we can hear you if you need us.”

  “All right,” Rayne said, nodding. It seemed like a good solution for all of them. “Do you guys mind?” she asked, looking at Con and Ari.

  “Not in the slightest,” Con assured her. “We want what’s best for you, Rayne. That’s all this is about.”

  “Thanks, Con,” she whispered.

  “Relax and enjoy your bath,” Ari said. “We won’t go far.”

  “Dim the lights on your way out, would you please, Ari?” Landor asked as they turned to walk away.

  “Of course,” he replied. The lights dimmed until it was almost too dark to see. Then a small light flared and Rayne looked around Landor to see Con placing candles on the edge of the tub. He gave her a quick smile, then left the room behind Ari.

  When they were alone, Landor reached for the hem of her shirt again and lifted it over her head in one smooth motion. In spite of their agreement, her first reaction was to raise her full shield so that he couldn’t see her, but she stopped herself just in time. They didn’t know about her shields. If she suddenly vanished, he might very well assume she’d been transported away, and she couldn’t do that to him just because she was embarrassed.

  She couldn’t help but cross her arms over her breasts, even though she trusted him to keep his word and not look. He scooped her up and carried her to the enormous tub meant for four, and lowered her into the water, releasing her only when he was sure she was settled securely on one of the built in seats.

  “How’s the temperature?” he asked, reaching for the washcloth and body wash Con and Ari had placed nearby for her.

  “It’s a little warmer than I expected but it feels wonderful.” She looked down, relieved when she saw that the foamy bubbles hid her all the way up to her shoulders, then accepted the items Landor held out for her.

  “I can add more cold water,” he offered.

  “No, this is fine,” she said, setting the body wash on the edge of the tub. She reached up with one hand to touch her scalp. “I don’t suppose I’ll have much use for shampoo any more.”

  “It won’t grow back?” Landor asked.

  “Maybe, but I don’t think so,” she said. She tried to sound as though she didn’t really care, but Landor had no trouble seeing the sadness in her eyes that she otherwise hid so well.

  Several responses went through Landor’s mind but he remained silent. There’d been enough emotional talk for one morning already, and he wanted her to relax and enjoy her bath. He touched her cheek lightly with the tips of his fingers, then stood up. “If you call us and we don’t come, clap your hands, or bang the bottle of body wash on the edge of the tub,” he said. “We’ll hear that for sure.” Rayne nodded, then watched as he left, leaving the door open just a few inches, as agreed.

  She turned her attention to bathing, surprised at how relieved she felt to know that she wasn’t alone, and yet at the same time, they weren’t watching her. That knowledge allowed her to lean back and enjoy the luxurious sensation of being immersed in hot, scented water.

  While she soaked, she thought about the Bearen-Hirus. They were certainly beautiful to look at, and she’d caught herself staring at them more than once. But good looks had never been all that high on her Rami wish list. It was much mo
re important to her that they’d been very kind, unfailingly gentle, and completely honorable. And, for just that one moment, she’d felt a connection with each of them.

  Unfortunately, they weren’t physically attracted to her. She wasn’t sure how she knew that, but she did. She knew how bad she looked, and if they’d been human men that might have been a factor. But they weren’t human. They were Clan Jasani. She’d never heard of a male-set not reacting sexually to their berezi unless she was too young, and her appearance had nothing whatsoever to do with it. The act of identifying their berezi was, in itself, a sexual response for a male-set. It was supposed to be, anyway.

  In addition, there was something warning her to hold her feelings back. The harder she tried to understand what that something was, the sadder she felt. After a few minutes she decided to let it go. The answer would come to her eventually and when it did, she’d deal with it.

  She stayed in the tub until the water began to feel uncomfortably cool before deciding it was time to get out. She’d already eyed the steps that led up and out of the tub and come to the inescapable conclusion that it wouldn’t be very smart to try them on her own. She called Landor as loudly as her whispery voice would allow, relieved when he heard her on the second try because the idea of clapping her hands to summon him made her cringe.

  “Finished?” he asked, entering the bathroom with his face turned away from her.

  “Yes, I think so,” she replied, watching as he grabbed a towel from a stack on the counter, shook it out, and approached the tub.

  “Can you stand up or would you like a little help?”

  “I can stand,” she said, then held her breath as she pushed herself up to her feet and climbed the first two steps so that the water reached just to her knees. There was one moment of wobbliness but it passed after a moment. Landor was holding the towel up like a curtain, blocking his view of her, which made her smile though she didn’t know why. She reached for the top edge, and he lowered it, then helped her wrap it around herself before he lifted her up and out of the tub. He carried her to the counter, set her down on the comforter that was still there, then reached for another towel and began drying her legs and feet while she handled the rest. When she was dry Landor shook out a clean t-shirt and helped her on with it before removing the last towel.